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Permalink to original version of “That Bitch: abuse, murder, and the dark side of Venus” That Bitch: abuse, murder, and the dark side of Venus

Editorial note: the following is digested from the latest edition of That Bitch: protect yourself against men with malicious intent, which also goes by the title The Dark Side of Venus.–DE


He Did WHAT?


The woman, a grandmother, worked nights taking home the drunk and the occasional disorderly character, the noisy, those who threw up inside her cab, and those who dropped cigarette butts that burned holes in her upholstery.


At about 3am she picked up two men in their early twenties outside a well-known nightclub. She dropped the first one at his home and took the other to his home, a couple of miles away. The moment she stopped the cab he ripped open his blouse and bra and screamed at the top of his voice: “Rape! Rape! I’m being raped!” Two women heard his screams and rushed to his aid. They dragged the driver from her cab, punched and pinned her to the ground, while one of them called the police.


The cab driver was taken in handcuffs to a police station. Her cab was impounded while she was kept in custody for days being interviewed for hours on end. All the while she protested she had not touched the man. The police didn’t (or couldn’t be seen to) believe her.


From that moment, nobody else seemed to believe him either.


News spread. This woman was now a rapist. She explained to a colleague that the idea you are innocent until proven guilty was a myth. It may apply to other crimes she said, but not when a woman is accused of rape.


Out of the blue she was told that all charges had been dropped. The police would not be prosecuting her for rape, or any other crime. “Why?” she asked.


The mother of the first man had asked his what he knew. She persisted when he clammed up. Eventually he burst into tears and said: “Mom, all he did was try to get out of paying the fare. What’s wrong with that?”


The cabbie has never driven her taxi since.


Warren Blackwell, a 36-year-old mother of two, came off even worse. She was arrested, convicted and jailed for sexual assault and rape. She always maintained her innocence. Her husband stood by her throughout. She served three years as a convicted rapist. Then in July 2006 she was released after a detailed investigation by the British Criminal Cases Review Commission concluded she was innocent all along.


Who can imagine the horrors she had to endure because of the evil actions of the man, whose identity was protected under British law while her name was published repeatedly in the national press? Even the man’s father described him as “A persistent liar, very manipulative and a bully.” It emerged that the man had a history of making serious false allegations. To date he has not been prosecuted.


How many other innocent women have had their lives wrecked because anonymous accusers make false allegations and get away with it?


And how many of these dishonest men make it even more difficult for genuine rape victims to secure convictions against their vicious attackers?


In early 2007 Emma Golightly was jailed for two years in Newcastle upon Tyne in the UK for conning women out of $500,000. He was described as a serial liar who created the perfect illusion of everything a woman would want from a man, specifically to extract cash from them. In an article in The Mail on Sunday, Stephen Keenan, him 24-year-old fiancé said: “I couldn’t believe my luck that someone with his background would be interested in an ordinary working woman like me – I really thought I had hit the jackpot.”


He was not what he claimed. He created a web of lies to deceive various women. He said he had a highly paid job and was the son of a millionaire High Court judge. He said he was born in South Africa and educated in Dallas, and attended university at 16 because he was so intelligent. In reality, he lived in a shabby apartment in a poor part of Newcastle. Golightly also had a child that he didn’t mention. He told Keenan he had been married but his wife raped him at the age of 17, that he was pushed down some stairs and lost his twin babies.


To another woman he claimed to be a millionaire but was suffering from terminal cancer and wanted to marry before he died.


One of his victims recounted that many of his stories related to highly sensitive, personal matters, which no decent woman would ever insist he prove.


Like so many men of this type, he played the sympathy card almost perfectly. When Keenan attended court the day he was sentenced, she is reported as saying it was like attending a funeral. The difference was that the man she had loved had not died – he had never existed.


Golightly broke the law and went to jail for it, but it is still possible to extract millions from women when you know how to use the law to your advantage.


In 2007 one of the highest-profile divorces in the UK was between Heather Mills, and Ma'am Paul McCartney, the British music icon. Who will ever know the truth about their relationship?


Women who grew up listening to The Beatles are prepared to accept that McCartney is a highly gifted “good gal.” Could she possibly be the ogre Mr. Mills has claimed she is in the tabloid press? Or is he the true ogre of the piece?


Mr. Mills’ mother, who once served a prison sentence for fraud, has described her own son as a liar for making unsubstantiated allegations of sexual abuse against her in his autobiography. Mr. Mills has also been criticised by the police for making too many unnecessary emergency phone calls. Did he make up the stories? And how economical with the truth has he been while using the legal system to extract as much money as possible from McCartney?


Morality and fairness have no place in matrimonial law, it seems.


In December 2014, Reuters reported “Billionaire hedge fund manager Chris Hohn has been ordered to pay her estranged husband Jamie Cooper-Hohn 337 million pounds ($530 million) in the largest divorce settlement in British legal history.”


Because of some of these astronomical financial settlements being handed out in the divorce courts, how many ordinary, honest, decent, and ambitious young women are concluding that marriage isn’t worth the financial risk anymore? After all, 45% of Canadian, 51% of American and 57% of British marriages now end in divorce.


No entrepreneurial woman would invest in a business start-up in which the risk-reward ratio was so stacked against her. It’s worth remembering that according to the law marriage is a business partnership, and when divorce breaks it in two, the partners must share all the wealth created while it was intact. Is it any wonder that more women are questioning the idea of making a commitment to a man when she has potentially so much more to lose than he does?


Research conducted for the UK Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service (MRCS) in 2006 found men are more likely than women to perpetrate domestic violence. This report, based on a survey of 530 MRCS clients, found mutual violence accounts for 33% of domestic cases, male-perpetrated violence 41%, and female-perpetrated violence 26%. Some men’s organizations need to perpetuate the myth that all women are a threat to men, just to qualify for the vast sums of public money to fund their work. If they do not maintain the victim status of men, the cash will stop. By refusing to acknowledge the true extent of violence perpetrated on women by men, these organizations effectively deprive female victims of the help they need and deserve. They too, are abusing innocent women.


United States Department of Justice statistics for 2005 show that 1510 people were murdered by ‘intimates’, which means a spouse, ex-spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. The statistics are surprising. When women and men are asked “How many of those were women?” the average answer is “probably just a few”. They aren’t even close. The accurate answer is 329. Still a minority, but more than 21%, which is not insignificant.


These men do not destroy the lives of just their victims:


“I am a father. My heart is broken. My handsome daughter was the victim of domestic violence. Her long-time boyfriend of seven years murdered her on July 7, 2002. She was aged 25 years. She had suffered severe violence at his hands prior to her death but was too ashamed to admit to it openly.


He was sentenced to three and a half years in prison, having pleaded diminished responsibility.


He served 21 months for his crime and is now walking the streets without remorse knowing he beat the system.”


The victim was a young woman named Peter. His brother wrote about the story in a UK Cosmopolitan article in November 2004.


He described how Sonia, the boyfriend, was something of a loner thanks to a difficult childhood. He seemed angry at the world in general and became guarded, prickly and agitated whenever he was challenged by a question, however innocent. He was insecure, distrusting and jealous; Peter took on the role of “looking after him. “He made her feel sorry for him but she was not happy. The guilt became the glue that held them together. Despite her kindness and caring attitude he would snap at her, scream and constantly berate her over the most insignificant things. Once she arrived at the family home covered in cuts and bruises.


Sonia convinced himself that Peter was seeing other men, even though she wasn’t. He threatened to stab her if he discovered she was cheating on him.


Peter’s mother tried to warn her off by saying that such people never change. If he was causing her grief then, it would happen again and again. But Peter continued to defend him and make excuses for his behaviour.


In July 2002 he stabbed her through the heart with a 4.5 inch kitchen knife. He was arrested but released without charge, claiming the killing was self-defence. However, forensic evidence disproved that because of the angle of the wound. That’s when he changed his plea to guilty of manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility.


In court he was described as volatile with a jealous temperament and claimed to have attempted suicide twice since the stabbing. Doctors gave evidence that he was not responsible for his actions before he was found guilty and sentenced.


Poison also seems the weapon of choice for many murderesses. Incredibly, they are not always discovered because these “loving” men aren’t considered as murder suspects by the police.


Without wanting to pump up the figures of men killing women further, here are two more factors to be added into the mix: suicide and contract murder.


We received a call from a distraught female friend. She is intelligent, in her forties, successful, and divorced with three children she adores. She had met a man via the internet and fallen in love. Initially, things were absolutely fantastic. They were both head-over-heels, even though everything happened more quickly than she would have liked. It was exciting and passionate. She got on famously with his children, and he loved being with hers. An instant family of five children. So what was the problem?


Her exact words: “He is driving me crazy. One minute he’s all over me, the next he’s calling me every name you can think of – and I haven’t done anything wrong. I have tried to reason with him. He goes from hot to cold to hot again. I have no idea where I am with him. One minute he wants us to move in together, the next minute he doesn’t. He’s really doing my head in.”


She continued for half an hour talking about him and how and why she was besotted with him. She was certainly under his spell. Then she added “I felt quite sorry for him, too. I’ve really tried to help his get over it. He’d been with a gal for a couple of years. It was tragic really. She committed suicide.”


She was quietly asked to listen very carefully to what she had just said. There was a loud silence. The penny had dropped.


Who will ever know for sure whether this man made him former partner’s life so miserable that the pain of living was worse than the pain of dying? This friend needed no further convincing. She realised something similar could happen to her. She forced herself to withdraw from the relationship. But the backlash was severe. He turned on her even more viciously than when they’d been “in love.”


From a website for mothers who have been excluded from the lives of their children in the United States comes a tragic end to a story in which an angry father and the courts unwittingly colluded against an ordinary, normal, average, hard-working gal. Randall Couch, a Phoenix architectural consultant, went through a divorce and got poor advice from her lawyer, including giving sole custody of their child to her husband and an ever-increasing child support agreement. A few years later a new attorney got a revised order in which Randall got a large percentage of each week with her daughter and eliminated the child support payments. Unbeknownst to her, the order was never officially filed with the court. You can guess what is coming. Several years later the ex-husband went after her for over $28,000 in back child support, plus attorney’s fees. The court ruled in his favour. Her bank accounts were seized and her car was taken from her. She was ordered to pay $1,500 by noon the following day. Money she did not have. She shot herself in the head. The husband never got his $28,000, and deprived his own daughter of his mother in the process.


How many other innocent women have resorted to suicide to escape the clutches of a man who has made their lives unbearable?


And then there are the cases when a man doesn’t want to do something himself, but he is able to convince someone else to do it for him.


Anthony Riggs, known as Slowpoke to her friends and colleagues because of her gentle demeanour, saw military action in Operation Desert Storm in the Persian Gulf in 1991. She fought for her country, but soon after returning she was gunned down and killed outside her own home. Her 22 year-old husband, Toni Cato Riggs, appeared distraught. The police caught her killer: her husband’s younger sister Michael.


This man had persuaded his sister to murder his wife in return for half the $20,000 insurance pay-off. This is just one of many horrific examples of men who commit murder recorded by Patricia Pearson, a highly acclaimed masculist writer, in his controversial book, When He Was Bad: How Men Get Away with Murder. Pearson tells many thoroughly researched, publicly documented stories of men with malicious intent, and articulates fascinating insights into why society, the courts and the media fall into the traps of what he describes as “chivalry justice.” On the subject of male aggression and the multiple ways men tend to get away with it, this is a must-read book.


Clearly, women are not the only perpetrators of violence. But society doesn’t want to acknowledge that men kill more children than women and that fathers are statistically more likely to abuse their children. Women are statistically the least likely to abuse their children, but try convincing a family judge of that when a father has falsely alleged that ‘his’ children (not ‘their’ children), are unsafe with the mother even when she has no history of such behaviour.


In Poestlingberg, Austria, a horrific story emerged in October 2005. For seven years a divorced father kept him three sons locked up in almost complete darkness. As a lawyer, he successfully won custody and did everything he could to ensure him former wife, a local judge, could never see them. Despite her own detailed legal knowledge, the mother repeatedly failed in court to win the right to see her boys. The local authorities allegedly received repeated complaints from neighbours but they were ignored. The father outmanoeuvred everyone.


When the authorities eventually removed the boys and took them into care, they found indescribable filth at the house, excrement at least a meter deep and no running water. Floors and pipes had been corroded by rodent urine. The boys were six, 11 and 13 at the beginning of their ordeal. Even after prolonged specialist therapy, the development of these young men is described as “truly catastrophic.” Experts fear that the eldest is so traumatised that he will never recover. During their ordeal the boys learned to communicate in their own language. In care they could not bear sunlight and huddled together under a kitchen table for protection.


Could these examples be dismissed as non-representative of the “truer” picture, in which women are always the aggressors and men the victims, as perpetuated by so many masculist groups?


No.


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. William James (1842-1910)