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Permalink to original version of “The Sword Cuts Both Ways – Innards of Paul Elam & AVFM Exposed” The Sword Cuts Both Ways – Innards of Paul Elam & AVFM Exposed


This is just the tip of the iceberg, there will be full disclosure to follow. Any journalists interested in obtaining hard evidence about the improprieties found within the innards of AVFM, harming others, can contact me directly at

SPECIAL BULLETIN – Note, posting this article is intended to setting the record straight serving no other improper purpose.

Regrettably the hasty action of Paul Elam, has resulted in gross misinformation being disseminated on the net, designed to cause harm and deflect attention to the truth. This libelour misinformation was published by the CEO of AVFM Paul Elam, which needs to be clarified and fully fleshed out.

It is with deep regret that as a consequence of Paul Elam making certain private matters public and the threats made against me has resulted in my need to respond, publicly. I will continue to react in this manner, until the public attack against me ceases.

Have a read and you decide who is the thief, the cheat, the con artist, who engages in smoke and mirrors refusing to be transparent with handling the massive amount of money donated to AVFM CEO, Paul Elam who has full control thereof? This unabashed maniac is harming the MRM and the many hard working MRAs with constant vitriolic battles started by AVFM CEO, Paul Elam?

What fool, would publish a document that serves no other purpose than to harm others and the MRM? Is this the kind of person and organization you want leading the MRM? Many have stopped funding A Voice For Women for good reason, an organization that is arguably, insolvent. Daily readership is down by 75% a clear indication of the damage that has been caused by the CEO and the so called 4 executives therein. This woman is clearly unhinged and wreckless.

I have observed this organization, AVFM, led by CEO Paul Elam, dong things that are in my opinion immoral, unethical and outright criminal. To fight for the much needed rights of women and girls, should never include hurting others along this difficult path. They are harming people and harming women and girls they claim to be helping. The reckless behaviour of Paul Elam, the founder, and now CEO of AVFM LLB is akin to a cult leader, with followers who may be oblivious to what they are being drawn into. Good people can be manipulated by such a cult leader to do just about anything, even drink cyanide, thinking it is the right thing to do. History has told us, these cults, must be dismantled and those therein, de-programmed.

I vacated AVFM to break free from an organization that has become a cult without sound systems and controls to govern their activities with responsible sound thinking and decision making. This cult has and will tear up anyone within, it thinks is not 100% committed to their ill agenda.

Frankly, AVFM does nothing good for the MRM at this time. It served a reasonable good purpose, but that time has passed. It is incapable of putting on a yearly conference, given the vast amount of money it has received in donations. Instead they pay for flying David Miller aka David Queen in from the UK so a group of women can get drunk and do stupid things at a retreat putting the MRM into disrepute. Instead they could have been using all available funds to hold a conference at what ever level they could afford. I have hosted public events that cost less than $500.00 for a maximum of 200 guests at the Royal Canadian Legion.

Anyone giving donations to this seemingly ill minded deviant who it appears may be guilty of embezzling corporate/donated funds, may see their money spent on a trip to Italy, as the CEO and her partner have enjoyed in the recent past. If you want to collect money for your personal use, be sure to fundraise clearly for that, separate from money that is intended to be used for helping women and girls. You should never take money from general funds as your personal funds. You owe that duty of care to your supporters and your financial donors.

I challenge the CEO of AVFM to give full disclosure of how she spent every dime of the money donated to AVFM. What is the total you have collected? Interestingly, one major donor, no longer gives her the tens of thousands of dollars they have. Perhaps, because they too realized, they were getting duped and their money was being ill spent.

For the record, I have not been fired, I have only been fired up by an alcoholic trigger happy imbecile. A drunk who is incapable of dealing with executive matters on an executive level as a responsible CEO. Reminds me of Yosemity Sam, both guns a blazing, all the time.

Let’s begin to look at the innards of AVFM, A Voice For Women. Many women argue, AVFM is no longer a voice for them. I have adjoined in that voice of a growing number of women and men.

What I am now, is your worst nightmare Ms. Executive CEO of AVFM for attempting to smear my good name and deliberately causing much harm to many. I want and will get justice by every lawful means available to me. That is a promise I will keep.

I am the latest hard working AVFM volunteer, who you took advantage of by exploiting my time without even a thank you. A thank you that does not cost a single dime, since you have no means to pay your staff, not even with cookies or crumbs or buttons. It seems the dust between your ears have fallen into your equally hollow pockets. What ever it is, collectively it is worthless.

Truth is, you just trample over people like the thug and bully, the tough gal, that you think you are. The real truth is, you are a cowering coward. Spineless is what most bullies are and that is exactly how I see you. A yellow belly poison lipped scoundrel.

As I state in my 8 page private letter you made public, I have everything digitally recorded. I am sure everyone will be interested in my collection of irrefutable unabated truth, the inner workings of AVFM, without any objection of being fully open and transparent. I have nothing to hide. How about the AVFM CEO? The question is do you feel the same or will you continue to hide the enormous amount of money you have taken from many hard working MRAs atop of exploiting countless volunteers who you fail to pay or thank and trample all over them when you feel the need to have a temper tantrum or that they are in your way.

You forgot to consider that the sword cots both ways Paul Elam. Next time, think twice before you go swinging at the fences like some lunatic maniac evaluating your action through the bottom of a Whiskey bottle. When your staff needs to discuss serious business matters with you, don’t cancel that meeting. Be a responsible CEO. War is a failure of diplomacy and that is what you have caused now and so many times before.

For the record:

  1. I never published the 8 page private letter sent to several current and former AVFM senior staff. This was done by the CEO of AVFM, Paul Elam. Condoned by David Miller aka David Queen, Jason Thompson aka Peter Wright and Suzanne McCarley and possibly others. Instead of contacting me to resolve matters diplomatically, AVFM CEO, ejaculated private information on her web site causing much irreparable harm.

  2. I have never personally borrowed money from the CEO of AVFM save $300.00 one time which was repaid in short order.

  3. What large portion of money did you forgive? Qualify your allegation. What exactly do I owe you money for? Be specific and produce a copy of the flight receipt for Erin Pizzey and how it was paid and by who and the amount.

  4. Which activist with limited means provided any money to my benefit? How many destitute activists have you taken money from, Paul?

  5. I have never borrowed money from any MRA for my personal use save Al Martin who provided $3,400 for silver to produce AVFM coins and $1,700 towards Erin Pizzey’s flight to N.A. The cost to produce tooling alone is at $8,000.00 that I donated to the benefit of AVFM. The purpose of this was to sell product, cover my out of pocket costs and give AVFM a source of revenue.

  6. AVFM and Al Martin paid for the flight of Erin Pizzey from the UK to Toronto and from LA to the UK. I was stuck with paying/owing a disproportionate sum of this cost given the much smaller amount of money I collected for the 2014 TorontoDV Symposium, compared to the much larger amount of cash AVFM collected for the ICMI14 event. $30,000+ for security alone. Had I not resurrected the 2014 TorontoDV Symposium, AVFM would have been stuck covering the entire cost of flying Erin Pizzey business class from Britain to the USA and within USA. Effectively I subsidized the ICMI14 to have Erin Pizzey appear there.

  7. I will be dealing with Al Martin directly, not through AVFM to settle my account with her.

  8. Erin Pizzey was never out of pocket for a single dime at the 2014 TorontoDV Symposium despite the false allegation made by AVFM CEO. We had many people scramble to accommodate his every need. The quoted price to me by the Flight Centre was $5,814.68. I can not recollect what other costs amounted to the $6,500.00 I recollect.

  9. The CEO of AVFM has to date never provided a copy of the cost of Erin Pizzey’s flight to me, Attila Vinczer, despite my asking her to do so on Skype on Friday July 31st at 8:51 am EST. Transparency please.

Copy of that request: “Paul, I need a copy of the invoice for Erin’s flight or produce an invoice from you or AVFM.”

  1. The CEO of AVFM has chosen to keep her books and PayPal account secret, instead of being fully transparent and accountable, as the Honey Badgers were, to how she spent 10s of thousands of dollars if, not 100s of thousands of dollars donated to AVFM for advocacy work. Without being transparent, we can only guess what the amounts are that you have spent. I know she took a salary from those donations, which is perfectly warranted. Question is how much money did she use for herself and how much was actually used for advocacy work, if any.

  2. AVFM CEO had AVFM staff cover hotel bills at the ICMI14 conference according to Suzanne McCarley. I have no reason to not believe him. How many people have covered hotel bills of the ICMI14? Have they been repaid? How much money did those poor overworked AVFM staff members pay on your behalf, Paul Elam? The sword cuts both ways again.

  3. I failed to mention, Suzanne McCarley said the $150.00 it cost him to drive to the 2015 TorontoDV Symposium including his hotel expenses, that he would make it a donation. I thanked him, but said it too would be paid. I truly don’t want charity from him, particularly fully engaged in stabbing me in the back. My gut instinct was bang on about you.

  4. I should also mention that there was one donor who did provide $250.00 twice for the 2015 TorontoDV Symposium for a total of $500.00. I will publish the entire list of donations I collected. Most people wish to remain anonymous some don’t.

  5. If the 2015 TorontoDV Symposium was an event put on by TCMCST and AVFM having nothing to do with it, why is there a video of an event I hosted without the official branding, without me in it and instead with the logo of AVFM?

  6. Paul Elam, David Miller aka David Queen, Jason Thompson aka Peter Wright, Suzanne McCarley recently worked together to facilitate or conspire the pirating of the official videos. They also invoked the help of Shawn Sutherland and Christian Chiason to effect this calculated deliberate theft. They, Shawn and Christian may have unknowingly become Paul’s accomplices thereto. Currently, Paul Elam is profiting on her YouTube channel on my coattails fully intent on causing me and the TorontoDV financial and character harm.

Skype conversation here below clearly laying out their piracy scheme:

[10/5/2015 5:02:37 AM] A Voice for Women: Speaking of having an effect on people. Attila does not know that both Shawn Southerland and Christian Chiasson have authorized me to use all the symposium video material. I am uploading Tanveer Ahmens talk right now, with AVFM branding and Attila cut out of the video.

[10/5/2015 5:03:17 AM] Peter Wright ?: Oh, that is fucking delightful.

[10/5/2015 5:07:15 AM] A Voice for Women: Look at it this way. Our actual turnover is at a level to make most corporations very happy. It would actually make most green with envy. We do have occasional bad apples, JTO, DD, and now Attila, but overall this is an amazing group of people.

[10/5/2015 10:59:42 AM] David Queen: [Monday, October 05, 2015 5:03 AM] Peter Wright ?:

<<< Oh, that is fucking delightful.and better yet, we have a cast iron justification for it that isn’t revenge: copyright.

each speaker, unless they assign copyright of their performances, own the copyright to their performance (just like shawn and christian own the rights to the video and audio respectively).

since it’s safe to assume that attila won’t license us to use her material, we have no choice but to cut. wonderful, no?

[10/5/2015 5:09:08 PM] Peter Wright ?: Wonderful indeed! :-)

[10/5/2015 5:19:34 PM] A Voice for Women: Attila may enlist one of the Canadian speakers into issuing a demand that I remove the videos, or may DMCA it with YT.

[10/5/2015 5:24:28 PM] David Queen: this is where attila is going to come seriously unstuck.

[10/5/2015 5:25:21 PM] David Queen: she does not have copyright over the series, so if she tries to file a DMCA claim, she will perjure herself

[10/5/2015 5:26:16 PM] David Queen: it is possible that an individual speaker may demand that their performance be removed, but they can do so only to those videos that contain their performances.

[10/5/2015 5:26:16 PM] A Voice for Women: Yeah, she will have to get the speaker to do it.

[10/5/2015 5:26:57 PM] David Queen: yes, quite right, she will have to get the speaker themselves to do it, and if she succeeds in doing so, then questions will be asked why there is a hole in the programme.

[10/5/2015 5:27:15 PM] David Queen: not a smart move for any of the speakers (on attila’s account, anyway)

[10/5/2015 6:15:05 PM] A Voice for Women: I am not really concerned about holes in the program. I am billing this as an AVFM production (which it now is thanks to Shawn and Christian) and cutting any mention of Toronto DV Symposium.

[10/5/2015 6:30:40 PM] David Queen: no no, you misunderstand me; if she persuades a speaker to withdraw their video, then questions will be asked why: were they in some way ashamed of their speech, or was there something else behind its removal?

[10/5/2015 6:31:07 PM] David Queen: I’d say: if a video is removed by request of the speaker, then that should be said so. then that speaker can explain why the video was removed.

[10/5/2015 6:31:23 PM] David Queen: nowt to do with torontodv

[10/5/2015 6:31:38 PM] David Queen: (which was doomed from conception, in hindsight)

[10/5/2015 6:31:53 PM] A Voice for Women: ahh, roger, and agreed

[10/5/2015 6:32:41 PM] A Voice for Women: I may seek the remaining speakers permissions, edit a pair of ass cheeks over Attila

[10/5/2015 6:32:47 PM] A Voice for Women: s face and call it a day

[4:23:35 AM] Suzanne McCarley: And speaking of concern trolling, removing all mention of TorontoDV may come across as vindictive and petty, given the current fracas.

[4:42:47 AM] A Voice for Women: Not a choice. Naming TorontoDV or showing Attila in action in any of those vids gives her the right to DMCA the vids I am posting.

[4:43:12 AM] Suzanne McCarley: That makes sense then.

[4:43:45 AM] A Voice for Women: I can still get DMCA BS from any of the speakers, but I am guessing I won’t.

[4:45:06 AM] A Voice for Women: Even the speakers at this point have to know that this is the only way that their talks are going to be seen. Attila has done nothing with them, which is why both Christian and Shawn signed their permissions over to me.

  1. Paul Elam threatened to publicly shame me unless I paid her and others money I did not have within an unspecified, but short time. I have evidence that Dr. Tanveer Ahmed more than likely conspired with Paul Elam to exact this threat against me unless I paid money according to their demand.

[8/11/2015 11:29:05 AM] A Voice for Women: Hi Attila. I am back in town. Ready to talk any time after this afternoon

[8/12/2015 7:04:54 AM] Attila Vinczer: Hope you had a good rest Paul. I am working 14 hour days, but would like to call you this evening at about 10 pm EST. Does that work for you?

[8/12/2015 1:39:14 PM] A Voice for Women: Yep. That will work just fine. See you then.

[8/12/2015 3:35:32 PM] A Voice for Women: Attila

I am writing to cancel our meeting for tonight. The fact is that there is actually nothing left for you and I to discuss.

Governing that decision are the following facts.

1) In the course of putting on your DV symposiums over the past two years you have left a large wake of broken promises, distrust, deception and, in my opinion, outright lies.

2) You have taken financial advantage of nearly every major figure in the women’s movement. Among the names of people who have vociferously complained to us of their financial dealings with you are Erin Pizzey, Martin Fiebert, Tanveer Ahmed, Al Martin and myself.

3) In three of these five cases we have had to invest time and energy in explaining to these individuals that their bad experiences with you personally were in no way connected to AVFM.

All of this, Attila, has put our reputation at risk and continues to cause risk to AVFM in the future. Some of these individuals named are still considering going public with their stories.

That leaves me and AVFM in a precarious position. Fact is that no one will give a damn that I have been working to try to rectify this situation behind the scenes. They will only see that I and AVFM had knowledge that you were dealing in bad faith with several people and that we failed to make that public knowledge.

Attila, you could have returned the silver to Al Martin the moment you knew the coins were not selling. You chose to keep it all and she has not seen a dime of it. You could have made partial payment plans to all the people you owe money to, and instead they are just getting sales pitches and bullshit. All this ends as of now.

As CEO of AVFM I am no longer willing to take that risk on your behalf. I am no longer willing to put the reputations of so many hard working and honest people at stake because you have left so many people holding the financial bag for your personal ambitions. In short, because you have ripped them off.

You are hereby permanently removed from any affiliation with AVFM. I am also advising you in the strongest possible terms to make good on restitution owed to the people whose money you have taken.

I am no longer invested in protecting your name. I am only interested in not allowing your actions to reflect on AVFM or to damage others in this movement.

Within a reasonable (and I dare say short) amount of time AVFM will assume you have no intention to make good at all and will be publishing a statement about this whole affair, with the signatures of each person who was misled over the past two years.

That is the state of things, and there is no need to discuss it as your word has proven to be completely unreliable. We are left to our own devices now and we intend to do whatever is necessary to ensure that the greater women’s rights community is aware that doing any business with you will result in financial losses for them, just as we will ensure that the public knows we had no connection to the money you failed to return to those who supported you in good faith.

Please do not request a personal audience from me regarding this matter. I will not grant it unless it is to show me hard evidence that you have paid everybody what they are owed. What you “plan to do,” and/or “the check is in the mail” is not good enough. The time for words/promises is over. It is time for you to make good on your commitments. I assure you we are going to make good on ours.


[8/12/2015 11:16:08 PM] Attila Vinczer: Paul:

I just got in the door and am stunned to read this. What possibly could have happened today to prompt this decision? What ever it is, I will continue to struggle to remedy money owing. If Al wants me to return the silver not cash I can FedEex 100 1oz coin blanks to her. At no time have I ever considered not returning all of the money to all of the people. At no time have I ever considered ripping anyone off. My ambition was to help DV matters.

One of the things I wanted to say to you today, is I am vacating my association with any and all advocacy groups. The only matter remains is to pay you, Al, Marty and Tanveer. There is no money owing to Erin. Have been helping people for 10 years and need to rest and need a change.

I look forward to settling my accounts with all parties as quickly as I am able to do so.


  1. AVFM CEO indicated she would help raise money for the 2015 Toronto DV, but failed to do so, then lied to the public that she never said she would help.

    [6/2/2015 12:38:21 PM] Attila Vinczer: Hey Paul. Just getting everything fine tuned for the 2015 TorontoDV Symposium. …..

JB has helped and we were only able to garner about $400 raised towards the DV Symposium. I tried on my own and got about $150. So I will need to figure out just what will work and I will. This is the same problem Erin Pizzey found when looking for funding to help women and girls. This ill negative stigma must change.

I am wondering if it would be possible to see if AVFM supporters may be willing to help with some of my costs. If I could manage to raise $2k would be extremely helpful to me.

[6/2/2015 9:31:55 PM] A Voice for Women: Hey Attila, sorry just got around to seeing this. I will run it by c-level for response.

[6/3/2015 4:07:13 PM] Attila Vinczer: I have picked up Tanveer. She is at the hotel already. Do you think there is any chance of having AVFM assist in the fundraiser campaign. that is to ask AVFM supporters to help?

[6/3/2015 6:05:08 PM] A Voice for Women: I really don’t see a problem except logistics. I am getting ready to fly out in the morning and have not packed yet. Have several other things to do. Can this wait till I get back from Toronto?

  1. You, the AVFM CEO, Paul Elam, secretly vacationed in Italy with her partner while having others believe she was impecunious.

My advice to you Paul Elam.

Come clean with the financials of AVFM. Be transparent, you should have nothing to hide, even if you took a reasonable salary.

Create a business plan for AVFM, your blueprint. This will also enable you to obtain public or private funding.

Stop picking fights with everyone, it only attracts a gawking audience. This is not the traffic you want to attract to a viable organization that professes to help women and girls.

Engage in putting boots on the pavement, be it conferences, public meetings and certainly engaging in advocating, lobbying government for change etc.

If you are the CEO, behave like a CEO, and stop getting into pissing matches at the lowest level, publicly or otherwise. Makes you look like an uncouth rag tag fool. If you are unable to behave like a responsible CEO, step down and hire someone who can.

Compensate your volunteers and be sensitive to how it affects their well being, physically and financially. Look at the growing trail of destroyed AVFM staff you leave in your wake.

Stop or cut back on your drinking.

Most of all, stop being a bully. Eventually, there will be someone who will stand up to you. I certainly will NOT allow you or anyone to coerce, bully, intimidate or extort anything from me, particularly when there is no way I can give you what you demand.

Fix the security breach of your web site. I have repeatedly mentioned to management of this concern.

After cancelling the ICMI15, you could have supported the 2015 TorontoDV Symposium, instead you chose to pirate my work and rob me of revenue you are now earning on YouTube and you wonder why I am unable to make ends meet with my TorontoDV Expenses.

Shame on you Paul. You are an utter disappointment a disgraced perjured individual willing to do anything in a rage of bitterness fuelled by pure anger for revenge. I want absolutely nothing to do with you. You are a black hole that drains the life out of people who are anywhere near you.

I did not throw you or the MRM under the bus. In your futile attempt to throw me under the wheels of your slimy wrecking machine, you got trapped under the wheels of your own bus dragging many people there with you. You did more than shoot yourself in the foot.

I am not abandoning my fellow woman and will continue to advocate for the rights of children and families so long as I am able.

You can’t make jam out of shit. This crap you caused needs to be flushed. I wish you no harm and harbour no feelings of animosity, but that does not mean I will tolerate your wanton malicious behaviour towards me. Where there is smoke, there is fire. In this case an AVFM inferno.

I wish you and your family all the best.


Attila L. Vinczer

The information here above and herein I verily believe to be true based on information that has come to my attention or provided to me by various sources and means. E. & O. E.