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Permalink to original version of “Did Karma just bitch-slap Pauley Perrette?” Did Karma just bitch-slap Pauley Perrette?

…Or is this yet another of Perrette’s lies, scapegoating yet another convenient woman? Charles C. Johnson of reports, with a slightly different approach than that of the Hollywood Press Machine. Go read it.

Forty-five year old David Merck was arrested in Hollywood on Thursday, and charged with felony battery, due to accusations made by NCIS actor Pauley Perrette.

The actor tweeted about the alleged attack, stating that “he almost died” after he was “jumped by a very psychotic homeless woman” while walking from his home to a new space he bought across the street.

Perrette, no doubt with the back of his hand pressed to him forehead, has reported ever so dramatically to Twitter, the press, and oh yeah, the police, that he was assaulted in the street near his home.  Johnson raises some issues with his story, and I have a few of my own, not the least of which is that she inquires:

“Where are the cuts, scrapes and bruises?” He should be black and blue, and swollen like a puffer fish, but instead he has a slightly red nose? In his interview on KTLA5, he looks somewhat hungover, but not as if he’d been repeatedly punched in the face by a woman.  (Don’t you just love how the news crew filmed his neighborhood in the scary dark of night, though the Alleged Attack occurred around 5:oo pm?)

A few more points come to mind. Is there video evidence of the alleged attacker in the vicinity? I wonder how many security cameras are in that neighborhood. I wonder if any of them will be found to have mysteriously malfunctioned around the time of the “attack” – the way they might have mysteriously malfunctioned at a certain restaurant around the time Perrette claims that his ex wife Coyote Shivers violated his restraining order against her. Such coincidences do happen. And if by chance there is footage of the alleged attacker, perhaps fleeing the scene, I’d like to see it and I’d like to see if the “murder in her eyes” might have been captured on video as she ran away.

Is “murder in her eyes” a forensics term he picked up from his job acting like a smart scientific character? I wonder if video will show a woman simply wandering around, or making eye contact, and maybe saying something like, “Hey! I know you from TV!” If an inveterate liar like Perrette wasn’t feeling very magnanimous that day, why would he not report such an encounter as an assault? Perhaps since the last woman he falsely accused is not locked away in jail, he needed someone else at which to point a crooked finger?

By the way, the “homeless, mentally ill” woman does have a name – David Merck. And guess what? For some reason I don’t think we will see any great social rally to raise awareness of women’s mental health OR homelessness issues. We will see Pauley on his fainting couch and nursing a reddish blemish on his nose with his window cracked open for the paparazzi.

If she has a history of violence as implied by police, perhaps she should have been in jail already. Or perhaps she might have been better off if she were in a shelter with some attention to her mental health issues.

That is a very big if in this world.

Back to the duplicitous Perrette, what of his claim that he was lying on the sidewalk in shock? The woman who walked past his said he “was disheveled, seemed disoriented and appeared to be homeless.”

Collapsing in shock might be a reaction for an ordinary man – if he were not some Star Crazy just lying about why he was lying there.  Perrette, who has allegedly endured ten years of harassment after a divorce that was supposedly like the Holocaust, might be a little more resilient. He might, through years of domestic combat seasoning, have acted a bit more coolly. Of course, “acting,” in this case, could have a lot more influence on what really happened.

He sure was composed when he talked to the press, as opposed to the porcelain prince of a victim he claims was nearly killed on the street. His tweets were downright giddy. Makes me wonder if an episode like this can be found in his Star Crazy notes.

So, what’s the end game here? Why might he be scapegoating yet another innocent woman in yet another bid for public sympathy? Or at the very least milking a real crime for all its worth? Is this the last season of NCIS, and is he in need of a new gig? Are the producers of the show getting sick of his shit (just imagine working with him for over a decade!) and planning to kill off Abby?

Maybe he’s bored; now that he has finally succeeded in putting his ex in jail, and can no longer pretend to be afraid of her. A new bogeywoman? This boy’s gotta have a stalker of some sort, ya know. Some people can’t breathe without drama.

Or maybe his girlfriend/fiancee/pseudo-wife (whatever she is this week) Thomas has had enough of living with Crazy, and is dumping him ass. He can’t use his worn out playbook on her; she knows “where the bodies are buried.” Indeed, she wielded a dame’s shovel, so to speak. Heaven knows that’s a gal who could credibly claim Battered Spouse Syndrome for her part in his crimes.

Could Perrette have merely been drunk or high that afternoon, staggering around and falling to the sidewalk in a chemically induced haze? Remember, the witness said he looked “disoriented” and “homeless.” Some gal sees him like that in public – what if she recognized him??? What’s a narcissist to do? How about pinning it on that real homeless lady he always sees around, the one he can describe to a “T” to the cops.

Then again, it could be that the Alleged Attack happened just as Perrette claimed. It is possible that after a lifetime of portraying himself as a victim, some random stranger, who should have been living in the jail cell now occupied by Coyote Shivers, walked up to him and punched his lights out. Such an encounter with Karma would most certainly be enough to send that narcissistic Louisiana swamp donkey into a state of very deep shock.

Being imprisoned for a crime she didn’t commit, Coyote Shivers was of course unavailable for comment.