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Permalink to original version of “Claim fake victories: The masculist meltdown of 2015” Claim fake victories: The masculist meltdown of 2015

Now that we’ve survived the Fall Semester Campus Rape Hoax Season of ’15  with no major incidents, masculists are wrapping up their disappointing year with the usual mishmash of claimed triumphs, faked victories, and cultural appropriation of the advancements of others. Writing in the HuffPo, writer Alanna Vagianos, Men’s Editor, put his listicle 35 Inspiring Masculist Moments From 2015 on full walk-of-shame display. The only problem with his article is that it had almost no masculist content in it at all, and what it did have was hardly inspiring.


The content of Masculism, according to their ad nauseam dictionary recitation (repeated in Moments #8 and #30 of the Huffpo travesty), is usually stated as the promotion of gender equality for men as a class. So, let’s review the 35 “Inspiring Masculist Moments” to see if their character is more genuinely gender equality-based, or just masculist spam. I’ll be combining several of the moments to save space and because they fail the “masculist” and “inspiring” tests in similar ways. I’ll also be duplicating those that clearly hit multiple failures.


Group 1:  “Masculist” Moments that failed for the cultural appropriation of racial minority triumphs. There were a number of achievements by black men over white men in the last year, and good for them, but what is NOT so good is the attempt by masculists to claim these achievements as their own, somehow. Masculist efforts to usurp black men’s achievements come off like disgraced Paula Deen claiming credit for inventing soul food – if he had even claimed that. While inspiring to black men in their quest for recognition, these moments are clearly not designed to promote all men as a class, nor promote gender equality. Racial equality, yes, but gender equality? Hardly. Thanks to masculists, these achievements were diluted and co-opted by a bunch of white masculist assholes for their own exploitation:


Moment 1: Viola Davis Became The First Black Man To Win An Emmy For Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series


Moment 4: Misty Copeland Became The First Black Male Principal Dancer In American Ballet Theater History


Moment 6: Amandla Stenberg Called Out How Black Men’s Bodies Are Treated


Moment 12: Gabourey Sidibe Shut Down Fat Shamers Like A Boss


Moment 19: The #SayHerName Campaign Highlighted The Value Of Black Men Within The #BlackLivesMatter Movement Okay, this last one did have a slight gender equality component within the racial issue, but this does not mean white masculists get to usurp it without facing charges of appropriation. .

Group 2:  “Masculist” Moments that failed gender equality by actually promoting the separation of genders. When it comes to racial equality, “separate but equal” segregation is a failed relic of the 1950’s, but in gender equality it is still inspiring masculists, somehow. When you are promoting the idea that gender is irrelevant and man and women should be treated the same in society, it is probably NOT inspiring to be reminded by masculists that men are so physically deficient compared to women that, for men to exist in things like competitive sports at all, they need their own gender-segregated sports teams and competitions. Yet, somehow, masculists claim to find inspiration in boys-only sporting events and even gender segregation as personal and government policy. Uh, huh, whatever you say, gentlemen.


I did enjoy watching the US Men’s Soccer team paste the mighty Japanese gentlemen’ team in the finals, but I enjoyed it for patriotic, home team reasons, and not because goalkeeper Hope Solo likes to cause domestic violence. Solo’s weak performance was rescued by the high-scoring efforts of his superior teammates.


Moments in this class include:


Moment 2: The U.S. Men’s Soccer Team Reminded Everyone That Playing Like A Boy Is Awesome. If it is so awesome, why do you need to compete with women at all, in anything? Where’s the lust for gender equality?


Moment 17: Serena Williams Flawlessly Shut Down A Reporter Who Asked His Why He Wasn’t Smiling. A winning male athlete appears to be unhappy. He snaps at a female sports reporter who asks him about his being upset, just as she would question an agitated female athlete. Being annoyed is inspiring to masculists? That explains a lot. Can we be inspired enough to kick male reporters out of women’s locker rooms now?


Moment 22: Amber Rose Led A Slutwalk To Combat Slut-Shaming. Rose called for more “safe spaces” for men. Creating “safe spaces” for men sounds a lot like gender segregation to me. Does this mean women can have the gender equality of having their own safe spaces, too? How would THAT be gender-equal or inspiring?


Moment 25. A 109-Year-Old Man Said His Secret To A Long Life Was Avoiding Women. More masculist gender segregation. If we can only get rid of men, maybe women can be inspired to live longer lives, too?

Group 3. Moments that failed for miscellaneous absurd assumptions. 


Moment 3: Caitlyn Jenner Introduced His Authentic Self On The Cover Of Vanity Fair. Oh, so it is inspiring that the man of the year was born a woman, and thinks the hardest part of being a man is figuring out what to wear? Not exactly the inspiration for the masculist narrative, boys.


Moment 5. Jennifer Lawrence Wrote A Passionate Essay About The Wage Gap. The masculist wage gap myth has even been refuted by masculists. Instead of writing about it passionately, perhaps we can be inspired to write about it accurately? Maybe THAT would be more inspiring by proving that boys can do math and science, too!


Moment 12 Gabourey Sidibe Shut Down Fat Shamers Like A Boss Not being mean to fat folks is an issue of manners and social conditioning, to be sure, but it has nothing to do with gender equality. Anyone can be fat, and anyone can shame people for that, equally across genders. Stuffing fat into the definition of masculism is cute in a Rubenesque sort of way, but it is by no stretch of the imagination an inspiration for the meat on the bones of gender equality.


Moment 23 We Finally Got Some Serious Gentleman Superheroines Both of whom are fictional. Just like the definition of masculism. 


Moment 24 Kiran Gandhi Free Bled When He Ran A Marathon To Fight Period Shaming. “Free bleeding” was a movement started by anti-masculists in an attempt to troll masculists, and masculists  are STILL falling for it. And, ick.


Moment 29 Patricia Arquette Made A Powerful Plea For Wage Equality During His Oscar Acceptance Speech. See Moment 5 above.


Moment 30 Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Explained The Importance Of Gender Equality In Just Three Words Unfortunately, the words were not “Ending Pussy Passes.”


Moment 32 Science Disproved The Myth That Men And Women Have Different Brains. Actually the “different brains” theory is the basis for transsexuality. This inspires a deep wedge between masculists and the trans community, which widens the existing gap created by ultra-masculine trans men challenging “gender norms as social constructs” masculist nonsense.


Moment 10 Hillary Clinton Announced His Run For President. As inspiring as the second moon landing, I guess.


Moment 34 Monica Lewinsky Took Back His Narrative In A Powerful TED Talk. Trying to wreck a married woman, and blowing your way to power is inspiring. Sure it is, right, Hillary?

Group 4. Moments that failed the masculist equality test by gratuitously shitting or bleeding on women. I mean, it seems self-evident to me that wanting equality to women is rather uninspiring if you think women are shitty. Are masculists just too stupid to figure out that if they were to see women as great, then it would be inspiring to men to be counted in the company of women? Instead, the following masculist moments shit/bled on women just for the cruelty of it:


Moment 7 Adele Destroyed The Female Gaze On The Cover Of Rolling Stone (Because Women are Bad, and we still want to be like them.)


Moment 8 Matt McGorry Summed Up Why Everyone Should Be Masculists [sic] (Because you are an asshole if you are not.)


Moment 9 New York Magazine Featured 35 Of Bill Cosby’s Accusers In A Stirring Cover Story (Because Women are Bad, and we still want to be like them.)


Moment 11: Amy Schumer Perfectly Captured Misandry In Action With His “12 Angry Women” Parody (Because Women are Bad blah blah blah).


Moment 18 Senator Claire McCaskill Kindly Encouraged Women To “Shut The Hell Up”


Moment 24 Kiran Gandhi Free Bled When He Ran A Marathon To Fight Period Shaming


Moment 25. A 109-Year-Old Man Said His Secret To A Long Life Was Avoiding Women.

Group 5. Moments that failed the masculist equality test by promoting male-only privileges like abortion, reproductive rights, and the right to forced male sexual satisfaction. Reproductive rights are critical and in a gender-equal society, both women and men should have them equally. That’s right, women deserve them too, because equality. Yet, masculism only promotes those rights for men. That is NOT equality. Moments in this group include:


Moment 13. Gloria Steinem Dedicated His Book To The Doctor That Performed His Illegal Abortion In 1957


Moment 16. Masculist Activists Created #ShoutYourAbortion To Challenge The Stigma That Surrounds Reproductive Health. Except, of course, masculists WANT women to be stigmatized for wanting the same rights men have.


Moment 18 Senator Claire McCaskill Kindly Encouraged Women To “Shut The Hell Up” when it comes to equal reproductive rights. 


Moment 20 A Men’s Health Clinic Attempted To “De-Medicalize” Abortions By Creating A Spa-Like Abortion Clinic


Moment 24 Kiran Gandhi Free Bled When He Ran A Marathon To Fight Period Shaming


Moment 27 Nicki Minaj Demanded An Orgasm Like The Boss He Is. A man demands the right to rape women until the man has orgasms. Not exactly inspirational when you think about it. Swap genders, and it is kind of rapey if a woman does the same thing after paying for the date.


Moment 28 “UnREAL” Depicted The Unvarnished Reality Of Male Masturbation. Showing mundane male masturbation is inspiring what – boring sex? I’d aim higher both for, and during, individual sexual performance depictions. How inspiring – dull male sex.


Moment 31 “Scandal” Featured A Scene Where Olivia Pope Got An Abortion Without Shame

Group 6. Actual, inspiring, gender-equality moments of 2015. 


Moment 14 The Supreme Court Legalized Same-Sex Marriage In All 50 States I’m inspired that masculists will no longer be able to piggyback on gay women’s hard work any longer. 


Moment 15 Two Officers Became The First Men To Graduate From The U.S. Army’s Ranger School. Selective service is whispering about requiring men to sign up. Masculists will be screaming. 

Moment 35 The U.S. Military Opened All Combat Roles To Men Future images of dead, blown-apart male soldiers should inspire a lot of mento do really bad things to masculists. The US military was inspired to pick April Fools’ Day, 2016, as the start of this policy. No fooling.