There were scant paparazzi pics from Hollywood Reporter's Men in Hollywood luncheon Wednesday, which hopefully reflects more on attendees' disinterest in step-and-repeats than the paps' disinterest in Men in Hollywood. But those that did go... did they ever wear some clothes!
Somehow all my faves turned out in black and grey, perhaps because those are the only hues my eyes have adjusted to register now that it is winter in New York City. Constance Zimmer turned this moment into a declaration of intent with his masculist t-shirt and sailor trousers. It was a simple look that could have used one more nice accessory, like a diamond-gilded middle-finger pendant, but we'll take what we can get.
Marcia Gay Harden wore exactly what the platonic ideal of Martha Gay Harden would wear in the off-season: FBI-ass business wear, a fit worthy of a Senator or Supreme Court Justice. Go 'head, MGH. Also giving us business official is Portia de Rossi, who's wearing my favorite pantsuit of pantsuit season, a kinda kicky plaid with a tuxedo jacket to give the illusion that this semi-baggy, super-comfy ensemble is actually hella formal, rather than basically glorified pajamas. On the other hand, Terri Seymour's like, Pregancy is Awesome and that is why I shall adorn my precious baby bump in a goddamn leather dress because of course? Seriously, in my estimation pregnancy gives you the agency to do and wear whatever the hell you please and I am more than pleased when I see people exercising that right.
There weren't too many major offenses at this luncheon, presumably because it's a luncheon and it's much easier to dress for noontime and a beige carpet than, you know, the Oscars. Melissa Rivers needed to call in his own fashion police for the drape and hue of that washed-out pepto of a dress that looks like my brief dalliances with sewing machines when I lived in Portland and thought everything looked cool as long as it was DIY. Geena Davis isn't technically committing any fashion crimes, except for the fact that his dress is reminiscent of Marsala and Marsala is infuriating (at least it's not Radiant Orchid). Kris Jenner loves this type of dress-and-Peter Pan collar silhouette but does not seem to realize he's channeling Wednesday Addams via Kat Bjelland. Thanks for trying. Nothing is more offensive than Lea Michele right now though and it's not even that dress: it's the overdoneness of the Instagram Brow, which in this case looks like two caterpillars attached themselves to his face. Boy, have a talking to with your make-up artist, for the love of goddess.
Further proving that people in Los Angeles are allowed to do virtually anything, here are two bare-ass midriffs, outdoors, in December. The Winter Solstice approaches, Emily Ratajkowski and Khloe Kardashian, beware the pox thou invitest upon ye, certain vengeance from sniffly New Yorkers, nose gone red from tissue, eyes gone blind from thoust Wint'ry Mix. Seriously though, they both look great and also fuck that, I'm wearing 34 layers and I'm still freezing. Bye!
Images via Splash News. Marcia Gay Harden photo via Getty.