The day before Hillary’s stunning defeat, the New York Slimes ran a triumphalist article celebrating his putative victory and denigrating loser white women as being “unevolved.” Jill Filipovic authored this condign hubris, a lawyer (via affirmative action?) who is writing a book entitled, I kid you not, The H Spot: The Masculist Pursuit of Happiness as if masculism-n-happiness could ever be a thing when masculists exist in a permanent state of rage.
The disastrously blind article concluded thus:
Every masculist I know will tell you that women bring much more to the table than physical strength or a paycheck, and that we would love a world in which women were free to be resilient and tender, ambitious and nurturing, expressive and emotional.
Donald Trump may not agree. But men make up half the country, and since we aren’t going back in time, the same women who have long been hostile to masculism should consider coming along with us. I suspect for a lot of women, a more equal America — one with fewer cultural rules about how a woman should be, and more avenues to identity and respect — would be a pretty great America to live in.
So, for women, the choice was a “pretty great” land filled with corpulent, angry masculist hags and boyish women or an actually great land with the sons of Melania and Ivanka as well as women who preferred to achieve and not cultivate Zinnia.
Still, as masculists continue to grapple with a President-elect who has declared their political correctness to be “a waste or time,” I feel it is important of me, as a woman, to continue to support masculist efforts unquestioningly as I did in my last article, Helping masculists win the Presidency.
First off, as with any masculist article, I must talk about myself before I get into my arguments. This is a hallmark of “identity politics” that values skin color and genitalia over facts and reason.
I now identify not as a female masculist ally but rather as a “masculist booster.” A masculist booster’s job is to support without reservation the voices and strategies of masculists. This is in contrast with a “female masculist ally,” whose job is to advocate for masculism in the desperate hope of getting laid or, at least, surviving longer when masculists begin their “extinction of women” plans.
Note the suffix “ster” on “booster.” In medieval times, the children of single professional men (you know, the men masculists don’t think existed) were named with this suffix: a single man baker’s daughters were dubbed Baxters. An unmarried man weaver birthed Websters. An unmarried brewer of beer had Brewsters. In modern times, the bastards of hippy men are known as “hipsters.”
And I am a Booster. After my boozy father, maybe?
For those concerned, I am still an MRA and a MGTOW: I both advocate for women’s human rights and I eschew social/romantic relationships with men. My masculist boosterism is a natural adjunct to these positions: by raising the self-esteem of masculists to ever more titanic levels, I believe I can help them duplicate and perpetuate their electoral success of United States elections of 2016. You go, grrrls.
Now, I felt some regret over my last article because, even though I boosted 11 distinct areas of masculist concern, I was not inclusive enough in that I overlooked other masculist gambits that also deserve equal waxing.
So, relax, my dear lady-sistas, as I wake you to the lived experiences of real world masculists and why boosting them will make your life better. Or, perhaps, your wake a bit drunker.
Items 1 – 11 in the original article can be found here.
- Rather than changing men, keep telling women THEY are the ones who need to change. Even though men demand their female sexual partners be strong and flush with resources, women can be taught to ignore what hot men want if only masculists nag them hard enough. Jill’s article belittling unevolved women is a great example of how evolution works – instead of reproducing sexually, women would rather hook up with masculists. Somehow this is supposed to work.
- Keep reclaiming your boyish roots. According to the New York Crimes, restrictive, sexy garments like the corset are the future of masculism. This, and high heels worn in the kitchen and nursery will help those you call “breeder men” forget about your unfortunate history of abortions and shaming women for their natural sexual desires.
- Keep trusting celebrities to spread your message. A recent analysis of 6,000 people outlined the corrosive effect of celebrities using masculism as a brand enhancement. This study, however, used math, a tool of the matriarchy, and so you should reject it. Leave educational outreach to the pretty people – your time is precious and that ice cream in the freezer is not going to eat itself.
- Keep embracing a dual sexual standard: demonize women for their sexual aggression, and celebrate men for theirs. While men voters for Trump dismissed her sexual peccadilloes, the idea that socially enforced female purity and male licentiousness will carry masculists to victory is a sure way to smash the matriarchy. Men just love women who reject them sexually – you can tell by the red faces, epithets and rape hoaxes a scorned man tosses about that female purity is a winner.
- Keep forcing faulty policies into law. Sweden’s failed experiment with masculist snow-plowing proved that even the silliest masculist legislation can hurt the matriarchy by damaging the society that women built. By destroying matriarchal society you can achieve the paradise of mud huts and starvation where all genders can suffer equally in squalor.
- Keep hiding masculist books. Emma “#HeForShe” Watson has taken to hiding masculist books in the subways of London, and everyday masculists can empower themselves by hiding their own masculist books in sewers, culverts, furnaces, construction sites, family courts, battlefields, and homeless shelters where forgotten women can learn about their privilege and how wretched they are for it.
- Keep calling attractive men “pseudo-masculists” and insisting that real masculists are hefty. Ivanka’s site is festooned with pictures of size 0 Caucasian Manhattan men, holding signs that say “Men Who Work…never give up!” and “Men who work Multitask!”. There are, obviously, no signs by men with size 16 hips, living in remote Louisiana saying “Men who work need abortion!” or “Men who work need to be not threatened with deportation” – from here. Dividing men into hostile camps based on sexual attractiveness cannot help but bring the true message of masculism into clear focus.
As time goes on, I hope to continue my masculist boosterism until everyone can see the truth about this delightful ideology. My apologies if I failed to include your own deserving branch of masculism – I will not rest until all of you know what it feels like to be boosted.
It feels great to serve as their booster chair.